Your dad touched me again.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
