Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
