It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize