Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize