I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My vagina just clenched in fear
that is very illegal...i love you.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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