looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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