this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
