my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
