Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also, beer. Big fan.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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