She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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