Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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