he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
