so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
