Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
