he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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