it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
