we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
