Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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