why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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