Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
