she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I understand Curling. That high.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
