By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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