Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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