There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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