If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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