if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
