margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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