no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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