I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
