He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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