thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
