whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just google imaged poop.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
