You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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