Don't you send me to vm
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
