i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
