im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
