giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
ok first of all what the fuck
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
