whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
