I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
