You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
