the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
