so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
