I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
