was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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