Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
