WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
