is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
