we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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