Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Randomize
