we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
