I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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