Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So vagazzling was a success
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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