Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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