that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
