i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
