I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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