i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
