Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
