pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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