I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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