Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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