She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
