I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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